Those You've Loved
by theladyofthedarkcastle
Summary: Set after the finale…. Belle and Rumple mourn the loss of their baby from the other life they lived. In the process, they're trying to have another baby, but for some reason they can't conceive. Through magical ways, they get some of Belle's missing memories from her time in Regina used a potion on Belle to make her infertile.


Belle smiled down at the bundle in her arms, rocking slightly as her son fought valiantly against the sleep that was tugging at his small body. He'd been so kind to stay awake until his papa had come home, but now, with Rumplestiltskin divesting himself of his golden armor, it was time for rest.

A slow lullaby, no real melody, escaped Belle's lips. These were the moments she lived for now. Sure, her adventures with her love had been everything she'd dreamed of, but the quiet moments with her son, her husband in the next room safe, these were the moments she treasured.

Two steps forward and two steps back, her body rising and falling with her gentle him, Aidan already quieting down. She turned to start towards the bedroom and cradle when Belle saw Rumple already in the doorway, watching the two of them with the most curious expression.

"What," she said with a smile, still cooing to the babe.

"I love you so much, my darling Belle, wonderful mother to my son. You two are all I've ever wanted and while some days I can't quite believe you're real, I cherish you all the same."

A tear slipped down Belle's cheek and she swiped a finger at it lest it fall on Aidan's cheek. She took the remaining steps quickly, pressing herself as close as she could to her husband without waking up Aidan. She tilted her head up as Rumple leaned down, brushing their lips together lightly.

"He's out like a light," Rumple chuckled.

"Yeah luckily he sleeps like his papa." Belle quipped back, thinking back to the night she'd gone into labor. She'd had to practically throw Rumple out of their bed onto the floor before he'd woken up enough to realize what was happening.

Rumple reached out for the boy, gently sliding him from his mother's arms and cuddling him to his chest.

"He's so perfect, Belle. So beautiful. And we made him."

Belle softened at the sight, her two handsome knights. She didn't think she could ever tire of seeing the two people she loved more than life itself, together and safe. She wanted nothing more than to curl up with Aidan in their bed and just enjoy the warmth and contentment only having her husband and son so close could bring.

Rumple turned to re-enter their bedroom when it came, three swift knocks to their front door. Belle stiffened immediately as Rumple handed her the infant and grabbed his sword from its hook inside the door.

"Get inside, close the door. I'll be just a moment."

Three more knocks sounded, hard enough that Belle knew someone was practically pounding on the door.

"Belle! Now!"

"Rumple! What's going on?!"

The door to their cottage flew open, bits of wood from the door flying in all directions as a swarm of black pushed their way into the house.

Belle curled herself over her son, shielding him from the men as best she could as Rumple crouched in front of them, sword raised high.

"Who are you?!" He bellowed. "How dare you enter my house in such a manner."

The mass of black suddenly parted as a new figure filled the doorway, a woman in red as dark as blood.

"Pity pity we had to meet officially like this Light One, but I'm afraid you have something that's mine."

"We don't have anything that's yours Snow White." Rumple gritted out through his teeth. Belle could see the knuckles around his sword turning white. She calculated the distance to their bedroom, wondering if she could fit through the window with Aidan safe in her arms.

Snow White's laugh was as lifeless as the eyes of her henchman. "That's where you're wrong knight. I believe that you've kidnapped my son."

Belle scrambled for the door as a fireball knocked her husband to the ground, a guard kicking him across his chest.

"Rumple!" She screamed, moving towards the door as she tried to reach a hand for him. Snow White grew closer as a guard appeared on either side of her. All at once the guards pried open her arms as Snow plucked Aidan from her grasp.

"No! No! Not my son! Not my baby! Please take me instead!"

Snow White laughed again, even more merciless this time, "That's where you're wrong Belle. You'll never have a son."

"NO!" Belle screamed. Bolting upright in her bed, fighting against the dark guards holding her back.

"Belle! Belle! Sweetheart you're dreaming!"

Sobs shook through her frame as she pulled her arms free, almost flinging herself off the plush surface. No. Why was her bed soft. Their bed was rough...filled with handsewn...

An arm slid around her torso as her mind untangled and her senses started reminding her of where she actually was.

Storybrooke.

She was back in the pink mansion she shared with Rumple. In the Land Without Magic. Without Aidan.

Aidan didn't exist.

A sob tore from her throat, the sound grotesque in the soft space as she felt Rumple pull her into her lap.

"Shh sweetheart. Shh. It was just a dream. I'm right here. I've got you."

Belle sobbed harder, her slight frame wracked with pain as Rumple cooed in her ear, the same way she'd cooed to Aidan. This body had never carried a child, this house had never known a nursery. It was all a lie.

The tears rolled down her face unchecked.

Belle felt a wetness against the back of her neck and realized that she wasn't the only one hurting.

"I miss him too, Belle." Rumple whispered, almost as if he was afraid of admitting his pain to her, even after everything they'd been through. "I miss him too."

"It was Snow this time. The Evil Queen."

Belle could feel Rumple's arms tighten at the mention of the inverted symbol of terror.

"She can't get you here Belle, I promise. Not her, not Regina, not anyone."

"But that's just it Rumple," she wailed, "They already got Aidan." Tears were flowing again dropping lightly onto Rumple's forearm, sliding patterns down his skin. She felt his lips press gently against her neck, feather light and grounding.

"At least he didn't die my love, he just didn't exist."

Belle pulled out of Rumple's lap, turning on the bed to face him, "That doesn't mean he wasn't real to me! To us! You can't just say that and expect me to not remember holding him, carrying him, loving him." Her voice broke and she pulled a hand to her mouth, biting down on her knuckle.

Rumple was pale in front of her, beginning to tremble slightly. Belle knew the transition from the alternate reality back to Storybrooke and then through losing his curse had been hard on her husband, but he'd proved himself to be nothing but supportive and loving.

"Belle, after Bae's death, I didn't think I would ever know pain like that again in my lifetime, even if I did stay as the Dark One and live near forever. Watching him go, knowing that I'd never again hold my boy, speak to him, tell him I loved him, just about killed me. I knew I couldn't sit in my grief, but I wasn't I could ever truly be happy. No parent is supposed to outlive their child Belle." This time it was his voice breaking over the words. "But then, then we ended up in that reality, with our son, our Aidan and I found it again, the happiness. I...I never told you in that place, but I still remembered Baelfire, still remembered his loss. I didn't want to burden you with that. By acknowledging Aidan as real, it means I failed again, I lost another son. I failed. I couldn't face that again Belle and I damn well couldn't put you through that pain too."

A tear tracked down Rumple's face, his brown eyes glowing with emotion. This was the most he'd told her of his true feelings about their lost life, the most honest he'd been about what they'd had, or thought they'd had. Belle was frozen, wanting nothing more than to pull her husband into her arms, but afraid movement would shatter the moment stretched between them. She raised up on her knees, tentatively stretching out a hand when Rumple's eyes widened so quickly she worried for a split second someone had broken into their bedroom.

"Belle. Belle, you're bleeding."

Belle looked down, her mind racing, at a crimson stain expanding on the front of her silk nightgown, pooling down onto the bed. She grabbed the fabric, bunching it in her arms, as a fresh wave of sorrow rippled through her soul.

She wasn't aware of Rumple, gathering her in his arms, muttering about the hospital, moving her down to the car with frightening stealth. She wasn't aware of him speeding through an empty Storybrooke or skidding into the emergency bay of Storybrooke General.

She hadn't known. She couldn't have known. They weren't even really trying with any regularity, her nightmares about their son keeping their bed firmly away from the realm of intimacy most nights.

She became aware of the doctor sliding her bloodied nightgown over her head, a nurse pulling at her hands and washing the blood away with a cloth. She became aware of Rumple's quiet presence, asking question after question and hearing the doctor reassure him that she was going to be fine.

She was. But not the baby. There was no baby.

Now there'd be another shape, another face to haunt her dreams, to remind her that she was ultimately powerless to hold onto her children. That once again, she had failed.

She was aware of a single tear rolling down her cheek as Rumple picked up her hand and promised her everything would be okay.


End file.
